Will People Ever Get Dressed Again?

WagStyle Sunday Special: Three Amigos of Christopher Street Ride Against the Fashion Apocalypse

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“If you aren’t reading the Wag, you’ll never get anywhere when it comes to quantum electrodynamics.” —Richard Feynman

Have you noticed how everyone looks like an unmade bed? You may be reading this while sprawled across your actual unmade bed, which is becoming a problem. Wag understands the exigencies of a global pandemic (and also, the magnetic allure of a stretch waistband). But honestly, we all look like inmates at a dystopian work farm overseen by Lululemon. In a scant two years, humanity has forgotten how zippers work and is fast losing the ability—always tenuous in the case of your correspondent—to tie shoes. Society is being smothered by snuggly fleece.

Now, there’s no need to get all fussy about clothes. Wear what you wish, but make room for one good jacket in that closet full of hoodies. Consider that Wag Suprema Fran Lebowitz has survived decades of blackouts, garbage strikes, mysterious air conditioner drips, and subway urine smell simply by investing in a few classic wardrobe items.

The Eternal Fran L., somewhere downtown, anytime in the last 50 years.

Where to stock up on suchlike? Lucky for you, a triumvirate of style gurus holds out in the West Village of New York. Like monks in the Dark Ages, they’re keeping civilization alive, but you don’t have to wait for the Renaissance to take advantage of their talent. You need only check out their eye-popping Instagram accounts. We are about to reveal them now, so you can start presenting yourself like an attractive grown-up again. Won’t that be a breath of fresh air?—John Robie

calendar July 18, 2024 category CultureWag


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